Jen's Cheerleader Audition 

When you see Belinda and her clique in the hallway, you're desperately wishing you 
were walking with them, aren't you? You think that maybe if you were wearing the 
right shoes, sporting the latest hairstyle, and using the hottest shade of lip gloss,
then maybe they'd toss a glance in your direction. Have you ever wondered why they 
force their narrow minded views down our throats? Maybe it's because they have an 
inkling about what's in store for them after graduation. Cut to 25 years from now 
when Belinda McGovern wakes up feeling empty. Maybe it's because her Dartmouth-educated-
lawyer-husband Ted has run off to Tijuana with her daughter's roommate from boarding 
school. Or maybe it's because the twins, Timmy and Tommy, call her by her first name and 
their live-in housekeeper, Mom. Or maybe it's because of her 2 o'clock, 5 o'clock, 7 
o'clock and 9:15 showdown with her bottle of Prozac. Her life has become a domestic
wasteland. Avoid this fate. Don't become another cookie cutter, blonde, size 4, rah-rah-
sis-bam-boom, mindless, soulless, spineless wench. Screw these auditions. Screw 
cheerleading. And screw Belinda McGovern.